


The Finishing School

by ladyphlogiston



Category: George of the Jungle (Movies)
Genre: Curtains, Gen, One-Shot, financial advice, sequel fic, this is mostly an excuse to yank Beatrice's chain let's be real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:20:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21625951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyphlogiston/pseuds/ladyphlogiston
Summary: Some time after Ursula marries George of the Jungle, Ape shows up on her parents' doorstep
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	The Finishing School

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sophibug](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophibug/gifts).



> This is a prize for my sister, who has submitted her first three grad school applications!

"Arthur, one of those _things_ is at the door!"

Arthur sighed. Over the years, he had cataloged the various nuances of Beatrice's many screeches. The pained screech of a broken nail. The desperate screech when one of her rivals had made an expensive purchase. The determined screech when she'd found the perfect material for new parlor curtains. (The parlor got new curtains every 8.3 months, on average. He'd worked it out once, when he was bored. New curtains carried a 89% chance of new artwork, a 63% chance of a new sofa, and an 18% chance of repainting. Beatrice wasn't allowed to replace his scotch decanter.)

This screech, though, this screech was special. This was the heartfelt screech that only occurred when Beatrice was forced to confront their son-in-law or one of his friends. Given that even Beatrice didn't describe George as a thing, it was presumably one of his friends.

Arthur set down his scotch and answered the door. It was the gorilla. At least, it was _a_ gorilla, and Arthur hoped it was George's gorilla. Otherwise this might be awkward.

"Mr. Ape, I believe! Do come in," he said, stepping to the side to permit him entrance.

"Thank you, Mr. Stanhope," Ape replied, knuckling in. Arthur closed the door behind him and glanced discreetly at the floor. No muddy prints, thank goodness.

"The parlor is this way," Arthur said, leading the way. "I don't know if you prefer a chair, or....?"

"This is fine, thank you," Ape said, and clambered onto the sofa. Beatrice would definitely insist on replacing it now. And she'd probably buy new curtains to match. 

"Would you like a drink, Mr. Ape? Or just Ape? Is that what you prefer to be called?" While Arthur didn't mind George and his friends, their names did occasionally cause issues. Ursula had eventually chosen King as her married last name, which helped matters slightly and allowed Beatrice to submit applications for baby George to various elite prep preschools. 

"I've adopted the name Horatio Aloysius Ape for legal purposes in Las Vegas," Ape replied helpfully. 

"Of course you have," Arthur muttered. He poured scotch on the rocks for both of them and sat down in his recently reupholstered club chair. "What can I do for you?" 

Ape pulled a black leather satchel from under his arm. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a large Prada purse, but Ape's broader shoulders meant the strap was stretched out and the leather was warm from his armpit. Arthur smiled, imagining the brand new screech Beatrice would invent if she ever saw it. 

Ape was removing some papers from the purse, so Arthur sipped his scotch and tried to pay attention. 

"This is the latest statement from my savings account," Ape explained. "My act has been extremely popular, and despite the unavoidable expenses and a few personal luxuries, I have accumulated what I believe is quite a pretty sum."

Arthur felt his eyebrows raise as he reviewed the statement. Show business had indeed been quite lucrative. "That's a substantial amount. Are you looking to invest it?" 

"I am indeed. I'd like to engage with some of the venture capital funds in Silicon Valley, and I assume you have access to the relevant resources." Ape took a sip of his own glass. "This is excellent, by the way. The oakiness is very well balanced by the dark chocolate and honey notes."

"Thank you, I found it during a recent trip to the UK. I make a point of visiting some of the lesser-known distilleries whenever I am there. I have a port finish from the same distillery that is superb."

"Indeed? I spent some time in England in my youth, but I don't believe I ever ventured north into the highlands. I shall have to add a few side trips to my upcoming world tour." 

"If you do, definitely visit Glenfiddich. I'll give you an introduction to the owner, and he'll take you through his vault. That'll get you started with your own collection, if you're interested."

"Thank you, that would be lovely. I have been distilling my own liquor for some time, of course, but I cannot achieve the nuance of a proper whisky with the equipment I have available."

"Have you indeed?" Arthur tried and failed yet again to restrain his eyebrows. "I'd be very curious to try your products sometime. What do you use as a base? Sugar cane?" 

"Some sugar cane, but also maize and various fruits. I do have a passion fruit brandy I'm rather proud of. I've even experimented with yams, as they are readily available, but I haven't been particularly pleased with the results." 

"Well, perhaps you could bring some by some time. As for your investments, give me a few days to brief some of my subordinates, and I'll have someone give you a call. I assume you can be reached by phone?"

"Of course." Ape extracted an oversized gilt-edged business card and handed it over.

"Thanks." Arthur took a meditative sip, looking over the bank statement again. "Are you thinking about business investments for all of it, or do you want to diversify into more exotic arenas? I do have connections with a few import/export firms and currency exchange groups." 

"Actually I eventually want to open a school for gorillas who are desirous of joining polite society, and I was planning on raising capital towards that end. It would be rather speculative at first, of course, but I am confident that it would eventually generate a comfortable passive income."

Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Indeed? That's quite an ambitious plan."

Ape nodded. "Of course, but I am curious to make the experiment. In fact, I was rather thinking of asking your lovely wife to sponsor one or two of our students somewhere down the line."

Arthur choked. He looked up, wishing it was easier to read gorilla expressions. Was he imagining the mischievous gleam in Ape's eye? Slowly, his lips curled up in a smile. He took another sip, looking around at the parlor. Beatrice would definitely redecorate it this time, but it might be worth it. He'd never liked that still life anyway.

"I'll be sure to mention it to her, Mr. Ape," he said. 


End file.
